Friday, April 12, 2013

Relaxer day is tomorrow and other musings

Tomorrow is relaxer day. I will be 10 weeks post on Monday, so I am relaxing just a few days shy of it, but I am about ready to end this stretch. My goal is also to wear my hair out on Monday when I go to work. My silk shirt is ready so there will be no need for paranoia regarding me causing damage to my ends.

It is sad but I have forgotten how to do my hair when it is down and out. I think I have been too obsessed with gaining length that I have forgotten to enjoy my hair as is. I remember in my pre hair journey days, I would always leave my hair out. Protective style was not even in my vocabulary. In those days, my hair was extremely short. We are talking not even grazing my shoulder. I would sleep in magnetic rollers every night and look cute every morning.

Unfortunately, I have gone to the other extreme. Nothing is wrong with a bun, in fact, I love a bun. Variety, however, is the spice of life and I no longer want to look the same every day. I want to transform. I got braces in February, at the age of 30 and as I see my smile transforming, I feel as if I am also transforming. It is a wonderful feeling to smile and not feel self conscious about it. It is so freeing. It also make me think about the other things in life and on my person that I am self conscious about. If it is possible to fix those things, such as my little bit of belly fat, I am going to do it. If, however, there are things I cannot reasonably fix, I will  make an effort to let it all go. Life is too short to think about enjoying it when you have all your ducks lined up in a row. I will leave my hair out when I get to MBL was my refrain. Here I am 4 years after my hair journey began and I am just past APL. Who knows if I will have another setback. When will I enjoy the fruits of my labour?

So yes, I know I will feel a bit strange on Monday. I was thinking of easing myself into it with a half up, half down hairstyle and take it from there.