Unsure about my journey

Britpopprincess from Youtube has announced that she was ending her hair journey. She explained that it just wasn't that important anymore and that she wanted to have fun with her hair. She wanted to straighten it when she wanted, she wanted to colour it if she wanted. She was no longer enjoying being on a journey. She went further by getting a bone straight relaxer, rather than texlaxing and cut her hair short. I know a lot of the people who follow her were shocked but in a way I understood what she was saying.

I have to admit I am no longer having fun with my hair. It seems like such a chore. Now it could be because of my major set back and the fact that I can't stop from chopping off my hair. I am frustrated with it and it is no longer fun. I am tired of always dealing with new growth and tired of wearing my hair up. I feel as if I am stuck in a rut.

Half of me wants to run to a hairdresser and say "Just make it bone straight and chop it off" and the other half of me, that very goal-oriented individual, says I can't give up because I have a goal in mind. So while I debate whether I should just cut off or not I have decided on interim measures.

The first of these interim measures is saying goodbye to long stretches. I cannot deal with it anymore. When I first started my journey I felt I needed to work my way up to 6 month stretches. Now I am just tired of it. I am tired of poofy roots that don't cooperate and fuzzy edges that refuse to lay flat or break off when I do find a product that can lay them down. I have never been one to relax at 6 weeks. My mom would let me get my hair relaxed once every school term and once I started working, I would relax every 8 weeks. This went well until my hair broke off during a freak accident while deep conditioning. I have decided from now own that I will texlax my hair every 9-10 weeks.

Prior to my hair journey I was a fan of the half up, half down style. I set my hair every night with my Pink Oil Moisturiser and would sleep in the rollers so that I could have a cute, curly style everyday. After my breakage incident I braided my hair for two years while my hair was regrowing and never had to bother with styling my hair. Once I started my hair journey I was hooked on protective styles. Now I am clueless when it comes to styling my hair when it is down. I never like how it turns out and I end up putting it up. From next year I will not be protective styling as much as I used to. I fully intend to enjoy my hair. After all when I reached grazing BSL in 2010 I never even got to enjoy the fact that my hair was that long as I never left it out. I am currently practising with flexi rods each time I wash my hair to see how I can perfect that type of set. From next year I will also be experimenting with different sized rollers to get different looks.