After a couple of weeks with really good skin days, my period came and basically ruined everything. I ended up with lots of clogged pores which became inflamed and now that they have gone away I am left with hyperpigmentation spots, concentrated in my cheek area and sprinkled across my entire face. It is so embarrassing at this age to struggle with acne. I also tend not to wear heavy foundations, just a light dusting of mineral foundation as most foundations break me out, so my acne and my dark marks are on display for all to see.
I look in the mirror and I can see an attractive person sometimes if I force myself to look at the whole picture, but most times all I can see are the flaws. The dark brown marks dotting my face and the red, inflamed and painful to touch pimples that are scattered along my jawline. It is so frustrating and I just don't understand it. My diet is so healthy; I eat no junk food and lots of fruits and vegetables. I look at the person I share an office with scarfing down snacks loaded with sugar and her skin is among the most flawless I have seen in life. Her skin is what mine was in my teenage years.
Acne has taken a toll on my skin. My pores are now extremely large and I don't think very much can help except laser treatments at this point. I was on birth control for a few years and it gave me amazing skin but left me with spider veins and I developed cellulite for the first time in my life. My acne is not even limited to my facial area as my back is currently broken out and my chest is known to get the occasional spot. The joys.
Acne has also interfered with my life. There have been times I have refused to leave the house because I just don't want anyone to see my skin. I recently met a guy I liked, but for the past couple of weeks I avoided seeing him. Of course he commented on the fact that I keep making excuses. I know he believes I probably was not interested when the reality is I felt like crap about myself and didn't want to be in his company.
I am not asking for the most perfect skin in the world but I would like to just look like a normal human being. I just want to wake up and not worry about how I am going to look that day. I don't want to be skin obsessed. I just want to be normal. I don't even think I am asking for much. I am asking for the experience of any other regular human being.
Anyway, I just needed to vent because I feel super crummy this weekend.
Sorry to hear about this, I totally get how you feel :(
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment. It is so frustrating :(
DeleteI'm so, so sorry. I understand your struggle. I've been there. Don't give up though. Have you tried going to a dermatologist? That was the only thing that helped my skin.
ReplyDeleteDivachyk | Relaxed Thairapy
Thanks for your comment. I have been on every prescription medication that you can take with the exception of Accutane. My skin stopped responding to prescription medications in 2011 and so my decade long struggle continues.
DeleteI completely understand your issue. I struggled with hideous acne since the 5th grade. No one, child or adult, wants to go through that. Most of my adolescence, I spent in hiding. I would not go to activities. I would not hang with peers all because of my hideous face, back and chest acne and scarring. I felt like a creature banned from the village. The isolation was hitting me hard. So I tried remedies after remedies. I had ok acne days and I had some emotional draining acne days. My advice to you, dnt hide. Live life, enjoy company. It may feel bad now, but one day you are going to have to walk out proudly. Fake the happiness and the confidence until it is yours. Live, you wont regret it. There is a motivational saying that keeps me going, so I would like to share it. Dnt look at things like I can live without this. Approach it like I can beat this.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment and the great advice!
DeleteSorry to read this. Wish you were able to see that you are a star like everybody else and that the outside is secondary. However, i'm sure you are already aware of this and that doesn't help much when you feel like you describe in the blog.
ReplyDeleteI want to give you some advice:
It is good that you eat healthy. It might have been even worse if you hadn't.
Try to stop using deodorant with metals like aluminium. The body needs to sweat and get rid of toxic. When you plug the sweat glands in your armpit, the toxic can't get out this way. It stays in your body. Urterkram has really good deodorants. I believe especially back acne can be reduced by this.
Drink carrot juice!
Don't dry out your skin. If the top layer is dry, it will be as a lid to the pores. It might feel wrong but massage oil on your skin every evening might give you a more even skin. Macadamia oil is known to speed up renuwal of cells and might get rid of the hyper pigmentation sooner.
Use acv as a chemical peeling. Google and YouTube and you will find good tutorials.
And finally, skip foundations and cover ups. It is only adding substances the skin can get irritated with. I know it is hard and I know that covering up is what you really want to do in the morning when you look in the mirror. But try not to. Maybe give your self a one week without makeup once a month? That will also make it easier for you to go in and clean your face with a toner (suggestion witch hazel) around midday.
Hope some of the ideas gave you some inspiration!
Don't let anybody make you feel you are less than perfect!
Thanks for the comment. I lear nt about the dangers of heavy foundations a while back. I currently use Bare minerals matte which is the only thing that doesnt break me out. It is not full coverage so my dark spots show throught it. Right now i am using salicylic action and my breakouts are clearing. I just hope my period doesnt cause such a huge setback next month.
DeleteUgh! I have been there before (most recently 2 years ago when I started using Retin A Micro and it gave me a horrific initial breakout)! I would look into the mirror and bust into tears!
ReplyDeleteWell, that has subsided, but I still get the few a month around that time! I am on birth control to help as well. My skin doesn't like the cold ... It gets perfectly clear in the summertime. A regimen I have found to help is washing with a Benzoyl Peroxide soap and following up with salicylic acid toner (I use the Dr. Dennis Gross Acne pads from Sephora! They are amazing!) and follow up with sunscreen. I also use masks weekly to help!
Keep your head up. I know I wanted to cower when my face was broken out, but keep on moving!
Thanks for the comment. I wish I could use birth control. I was perfectly clear when I was on the pill but it made me develop spider veins on my legs. The week before my period is just the worst and by the time the breakouts clear up, my period comes along again. It is so frustrating.
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