After a couple of weeks with really good skin days, my period came and basically ruined everything. I ended up with lots of clogged pores which became inflamed and now that they have gone away I am left with hyperpigmentation spots, concentrated in my cheek area and sprinkled across my entire face. It is so embarrassing at this age to struggle with acne. I also tend not to wear heavy foundations, just a light dusting of mineral foundation as most foundations break me out, so my acne and my dark marks are on display for all to see.
I look in the mirror and I can see an attractive person sometimes if I force myself to look at the whole picture, but most times all I can see are the flaws. The dark brown marks dotting my face and the red, inflamed and painful to touch pimples that are scattered along my jawline. It is so frustrating and I just don't understand it. My diet is so healthy; I eat no junk food and lots of fruits and vegetables. I look at the person I share an office with scarfing down snacks loaded with sugar and her skin is among the most flawless I have seen in life. Her skin is what mine was in my teenage years.
Acne has taken a toll on my skin. My pores are now extremely large and I don't think very much can help except laser treatments at this point. I was on birth control for a few years and it gave me amazing skin but left me with spider veins and I developed cellulite for the first time in my life. My acne is not even limited to my facial area as my back is currently broken out and my chest is known to get the occasional spot. The joys.
Acne has also interfered with my life. There have been times I have refused to leave the house because I just don't want anyone to see my skin. I recently met a guy I liked, but for the past couple of weeks I avoided seeing him. Of course he commented on the fact that I keep making excuses. I know he believes I probably was not interested when the reality is I felt like crap about myself and didn't want to be in his company.
I am not asking for the most perfect skin in the world but I would like to just look like a normal human being. I just want to wake up and not worry about how I am going to look that day. I don't want to be skin obsessed. I just want to be normal. I don't even think I am asking for much. I am asking for the experience of any other regular human being.
Anyway, I just needed to vent because I feel super crummy this weekend.